Parents should not abdicate their role in effective parent-youth communication

As the debate rages on as to whether or not to provide children with contraceptives, it’s good for parents to have a reflection on their roles. One of the proposals in the law is that provision of reproductive health services to this group does not necessarily require parental consent.

This could have been in recognition of the fact that parents have currently abdicated their role as counsellors. Cohesion of the family as the basic social unit has been broken down by the hustles and bustles of modern life.

Parents talking to their young ones on issues of life

A common saying that “charity begins at home” underscores the importance of parents in educating the younger generation. If effectively practised, it involves effective communication between parents and youths and entails the process of planning and having focused thematic and honest discussions with them on topical issues ranging from youth development, sex and sexuality, hormonal changes and life skills development. 

This is however not the real case as parents are too busy making ends meet and thus leaving the children to their care givers. It used to be well carried out in the past African setting where grand fathers and grandmothers played a noble role. Girls would sit around hearths in the evenings with their grannies to get educated on the importance of growing up into responsible adulthood; how to become effective wives and parents; and how to prepare good meals among other important life skills.

Boys on the other hand would be taught on the importance of providing for the family as men, leadership, relationships and even on their sexuality during the transition period to manhood. Initiation periods played a big role as these two groups would be excluded from the rest of the society for some period just for the informal learning. Girls and boys would mingle freely and even dance together as Ngugi presents in The River Between but there would be no cause for alarm over irresponsible behaviour because these youths had been taught effectively and they knew well where their boundaries lay. 

In the current set up, a lot of problems facing even adults can be attributed to lack of parent-youth communication. How do you expect one to be a good parent when in their lives they never witnessed good parenting and were in no way taught anything of the sort? Currently, children in their developmental stages even date their cousins, committing incest, but view it as normal. Others get hooked up to drugs and pornography leading to contraction of STDs, as some get pregnant and end up procuring unsafe abortions. Once they fall into these problems, it is the same parents who fail to provide the way that castigate them for the wayward behaviour.

Communication between parents and the youth mostly fail because most parents lack proper communication skills-most of them don’t know how and what to say when it comes to talking about sex and sexuality. Cultural values also inhibit communication since sex issues are viewed as being immoraland not be talked about openly. Distant parenting also makes parents to neglect responsibilities. Children are thus left to teachers in schools and caregivers. Other contributors include spiritual views where talking about sex and hormonal changes among young people is seen as sin before God; and peer pressure mostly by young people who cultivate the mentality amongst themselves that parents don’t know anything good and therefore cannot guide them on anything.

Parents therefore need to be friendly to their children by using language that gives room for open discussions. They also need to educate them on developmental issues and various changes as early as possible and depending on levels of understanding and maturity. When children become so inquisitive, parents should answer their questions satisfactorily so that they don’t seek answers elsewhere. Reading books that give accurate and real information on parenting skills will help them handle challenges affecting teenagers effectively. Above all, it’s good to show understanding and appreciate the physiological changes such as mood swings that go through these young people as they develop.

Establishing proper communication in our modern set-up could go a long way in creating good relationships between young people and their parents thereby making them free to talk and share the different challenges they are go through. Young people will also be able to make informed decisions because they acquire a lot of knowledge.

Call for ban on jam sessions by council for children’s services timely

Referring to yesterday’s reports that the National Council for Children’s Services wants the government to ban all jam sessions for students in the country, it is only fair that we echo the same sentiments as a way of confronting the root cause of most of the ills faced by school going children.

These music extravaganzas normally come when schools close and most students are headed for holiday. They are also rampant during mid-term breaks.   When schools are about to open, jam sessions are normally christened “back to school.” Even though some of them are good for children’s development in terms of creativity especially in music and arts, most of them are fertile ground for breeding immorality. It then follows that students who look forward to such sessions spend most of their time preoccupied with thoughts of attending these leisure activities.

One way of curbing problems of teen pregnancies and risks of contracting HIV/AIDs and other STIs is to totally ban these discos. Unplanned pregnancies put young girls in the danger of procuring unsafe abortions which kill some of them in the process. If our security agencies and county governments can outlaw these parties then we would not even need to talk of the need for condoms or pills for the young ones.

This will also achieve the benefit of curtailing the problems of abuse of alcohol, cigarettes and even hard drugs. It would be one way of limiting the market of drug peddlers who make booming business on such occasions.

Boys will also not get the avenue of being inducted into crime as such occasions make them to be swayed to engage in criminal activities under the influence of drugs. They may steal from their parents in order to meet the cost of attending such parties and also to purchase drugs. While at it, they also learn to steal from the public by pickpocketting, snatching bags, mobile phones and other valuables. They also inflict injuries on themselves by use of pocket knives and crude weapons because they always arm themselves since these parties are normally held at night. This is how they eventually become serious criminals in the society. 

 

Another attendant problem occasioned by such clubs, which will be greatly solved if the call for the ban is heeded, is the low academic performance in schools. Students will then be able to concentrate on their studies instead of spending their valuable time during weekends and holidays partying.

Law enforces should further ensure that Mututho Law (Alcoholic Drinks Act 2012) that prohibits the sale of alcoholic drinks to persons under the age of eighteen is properly implemented. Additionally, it is the onus parents to observe the movements of their children and offer guidance on suitable leisure activities as they teach responsible behaviour.  

Educationists should support the Reproductive Health Care Bill to save the young generation

A storm is slowly gathering in the education sector over the Reproductive Health Care Bill that seeks to make available to school-going children, condoms and other forms of contraception.

It must be recognised that adolescents get sexually active as early as age 10, particularly among girls. Our society should therefore appreciate that the often hyped narrative of abstinence as a form of protection from HIV and unwanted pregnancies has failed. Children learn of the existence of these contraceptives from peers and also from adverts that are all around them. 

Where knowledge of contraceptives and reproductive health education is lacking especially in rural areas, there are high incidences of school drop-out occasioned by early pregnancies. This happens to children who are in upper primary school mainly as from class six. Secondary school children are more at risk especially those in day schools. 

Why then can’t we say, to avoid insanity, we try a different game plan in order to expect different results? Allowing adolescents the right to sexual health education through legislation is the best way for a society that faces a myriad challenges mostly arising from social problems of unwanted pregnancies and high HIV/AIDS prevalence. The future becomes bleak when young girls without any income become pregnant and abandon education. The sight of many teenagers seeking antiretroviral drugs from health facilities in the country doesn’t help matters and only serves to make the future even more hopeless. These, coupled with the numerous risks of unsafe abortions are just the direct consequences of failure to address these concerns in an open manner.

Other social problems abound. And they trickle down to over-dependence and redirection of the scarce resources to meet unproductive demands leading to general poverty. When children are counseled and provided with information on sexual health including contraceptives option, they are better placed to make informed choices rather than when they are left to grapple in darkness on their own. 

It is even better that the bill says parental consent is not mandatory in the provision of reproductive health services to adolescents. This is because most children would not be free to discuss sex issues with their parents because when they indulge in such activities, they do so secretly. 

Contrary to perceptions created by educationists that the Bill will encourage immorality, it actually seeks to recognise it in quest of reducing its effects.

Strengthen the provision of Youth Friendly Services (YFS) to enlighten the adolescents and youth

There are glaring indications in Kenya that the social fabric is increasingly breaking with every passing day. Children get exposed to sex at a very early age. Others get hooked up on drugs during their teen years. There are also increased rate of school dropouts due to teenage pregnancies. In fact, Kenya ranks among those countries with the highest adolescent  pregnancies globally, with 26 in every 100 girls in Kenya being married before they reach 18 years, according to Kenya Population Situation Analysis’s report  released in October last year.

Also, according to the Ministry of Health, nearly 40 percent of unmarried women aged 15 to 24 have had premarital sex, and more than one in seven are sexually active. A nationwide study by the said ministry in conjunction with the African Population and Health Research Center (APHRC) indicated that there were over 465,000 cases of unsafe abortions in the country in 2012, the latest such survey.

These in addition to other problems of drug and substance abuse, Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), rape among others have a ripple effect on the kind of problems facing the society at large. That is why concerted efforts are required from the government, human rights groups, religious groups, the media, parents and the general public in controlling these vices. Appreciating and addressing these problems in an open manner means solving problems of poverty, ignorance and diseases. It also means caring for generations to come. The society can no longer bury its head in the sand because these problems are here with us and they are real. We may shy away from talking about them for fear of embarrassment but that way we only leave them to persist.

And what better way to attend to such matters than to rejuvenate the provision of youth friendly services (YFS)?  Apart from integrating these services into health facilities, a better approach would be to increase the number of facilities offering exclusive youth friendly services. With such services closer to them, the youth are likely to identify with the centers offering them. They should be meant to provide the adolescents and youth in general with information, communication and education on health, counseling and examinations. They can also have a resource centre with materials on pertinent issues affecting the youth and adolescents.

Where there are constraints of establishing permanent youth friendly service centers, mobile clinic approach can be incorporated into school health services so that they can be taken to schools on specific days as a temporary measure for increasing the presence of youth friendly services. Another option would be to have specialized places for young people in each health facility countrywide where they can be attended to in privacy.

As a measure of appealing to and attracting the youth to such clinics or facilities, there is need to train more service providers in dealing with the youth so that they may be friendly and appealing to them and in turn improve utilization of the services.

There is also need for increased funding from the government towards Youth Friendly Services  to enable  service providers offer these services at lower costs or, if possible, completely free of charge. This will enable the school and college youth gain access to such services without hindrance.  Already existing centers and   health care service providers should be advised to adjust the working days and hours so as to accommodate the school youth schedules.  They could remain open for longer hours till late evening and also operate on   weekends.

Periodic evaluation of these services should be carried out so as to assess the successes and failures of their delivery and identify more effective strategies to address the constraints that may arise.

The youth also need to be sensitized through youth forums, religious gatherings, rallies and barazas on the availability of these services and the opportunities they offer. This will increase utilization of such services. 

Peer educators in schools and colleges need to be regularly trained so as to complement the work of the health service providers in passing such information to the youth.